Reverse Worlds
by MelodicWords
Summary: It's been 17 years since Julia died. Eli must now tell his son that Clare isn't his mother & Julia is. When things don't go as planned, Eli makes a wish that changes everything. What will happen to everyone he loves? Where will Clare be? Eclare!
1. Chapter 1

**Hey! So I'm putting this story as Eclare, but its from Eli's point of view. I might switch POVs in later chapters, but as of now it's all Eli. This story is about Eli making a wish that Julia never died and his whole life changes forever. I plan on bringing in J.T Yorke :) to be Eli's angel and to guide him through his new life after the wish is granted. So J.T comes in in Ch.2! Please review and let me know what you think! Truely yours, DegrassiLuv16.**

**I don't own degrassi**

* * *

Chapter 1

_"All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on." -Havelock Ellis_

_"All love shifts and changes. I don't know if you can be wholeheartedly in love all the time" -Julie Andrews_

* * *

"I can't believe this!" She shrieked. I stood there in the rain. I usually loved the rain; It helped me think. The skies open up and my mind opens up with them. But not tonight. No, tonight the rain felt like acid, pouring onto my skin, burning it. I just wanted to get out of the thunder storm and take her inside, where she'd be safe. We needed to talk this through inside my parents' warm house, curled up by the fire, safe. But as she screamed at me in the rain, I could tell she wasn't planning on going anywhere.

I was parked outside my parents' house, standing there with her, face to face.

"What do you want me to do?" I yelled over the wind. Water swirled around in the wind and rain drops beat on us from every angle. I could barely see her, the wind was so strong.

"Go inside and tell him we'll move out!" She yelled. "I have a place!"

"What do you mean a place?" I yelled back.

"I bought an apartment! It was supposed to be your freaking birthday present!" She yelled.

"I can't move out, I'm sixteen!" I screamed, now rather infuriated. "How could you buy a house at sixteen?"

"I have money, Eli. I work. My dad has a trust for me." She reminded me as if I was stupid.

"So then what! You just want to forget everything my parents have done for you, for us, and go off on our own!" I yelled.

"Yes!" she screamed. "More than anything!"

"Are you insane! How would we finish high school?"

"We'd make it work! All I know is that I love you!" she yelled.

"They want you and Ren to move out!" I screamed. She scoffed.

"They hate me!"

"They hate the fact that you're a teenaged mother!"

"You're a teenaged father!" She countered, rage seeping from her tone.

"You think I don't know that?"

"Eli, get a grip! We'll move out with Ren, and we'll finally have a better life where we can raise our son together!" she yelled. I scoffed.

"No, I have a great life here. I'll keep my son here, you get the fuck out of my life!" I screamed.

"He's my son too!" she shrieked.

"No, he stopped being your son a long time ago. Ever since you started hanging around with Amber!" I yelled. She shrieked out in annoyance and slapped me. Her cold hand collided with my face and I winced in the sudden shock of pain. After a moment it faded away and I glared at her.

"Amber has ruined you! Smoking, drinking, this isn't you Julia!" I yelled.

"No Eli, it's who I am! I've finally found myself and now you want to rip me away from it!"

"I want to protect you because I love you!" I bellowed. She scoffed.

"If you loved me, you'd fight for your parents to let me stay!"

"Julia, they found pot in your jacket! They don't want you to do drugs in their house!"

"I don't do drugs in the house!"

"It doesn't fucking matter!" I yelled. "You put yourself and our son in danger every time you come home high!"

"You know what? Fuck you Eli!" she took her bike from its place leaning against the fence. "I'll be back to pick up Ren and my stuff tomorrow!"

"Are you crazy? You can't go anywhere now, you're too upset!" I said, trying to stop her. She just buckled her helmet and ignored me.

"Jules! Jules, be rational! We'll go inside and talk to my parents where it's safe!" she scoffed and got on her bike. I grabbed her and pressed my lips against hers. For a second, she kissed me back. But then she pulled away and slapped me again.

"Fuck off, Eli!"

"Jules! Wait, it's not safe!" I yelled as she started riding. "JULIA MCCALLISTER!" I screamed down the quiet street. She just kept riding. Then the headlights turned the corner and zeroed in on her. The path it took was curvy, swerving around on the road.

"JULIA LOOK OUT!" I yelled, racing down the sidewalk toward her.

But it was too late.

The truck rammed into her, sending her flying into the air, throwing her about ten feet. The truck stopped and the guy just sat there watching.

"Jules!" I screamed, tears flooding my vision. I ran over to her, dropping down next to her fragile body. Blood gushed from her head and she was breathing raggedly. I pulled her into my arms, blood coating my black jeans.

"Eli." she whispered. I pressed my lips to hers softly. After I pulled away, she slid a piece of paper into my hand. I opened it up to see her will.

"Julia what is this?"

"My…dad said I should…write it…because I had…Ren…"

I pulled out my cell phone and dialed 911.

"There's been an accident! Come quickly!" I said into the small silver phone. I then proceeded to give the dispature on the line my location and she promised to send help. I hung up and put my phone down.

"Julia, you're not going to die!"

"I am."

"No! No Julia, you're not!"

"I want to be cremated."

"Julia, stop!"

"Spread my ashes wherever you want."

"What? Why?" I asked, my voice full of pain.

"Because I knew you will find the perfect place." She whispered, clutching my hand. Her hair was usually black as night, but it was now stained red by the blood matted in it.

"Julia, don't die." I whispered, hearing my voice crack. All the rage I'd had built up at her was erased now, and was replaced by fear and sadness.

"Take care of Ren." She whispered.

"Julia, no!" I cried.

"I'm so sorry Eli. Really, I'm sorry for everything." She whispered, tears running down her face. I kissed them away.

"JULIA! Stop, please!" I heard sirens in the distance. "C'mon! Hold on, Julia!"

"Good bye, Eli." She whispered, her voice filled with pain. "I'll always love you."

And then I woke up from my nightmare.

"Eli? Eli, baby are you okay?" Clare asked, shaking me awake. I sighed rolled over to look at my beautiful wife. Her blue eyes were ignighted in worry and her forehead was creased, indicating she was stressed.

"Clare, blue eyes I'm all right. Don't worry, I just had a dream." I tried to sooth her. However, she just kept staring at me with the same apprehensive expression.

"You were screaming for Julia." She said quietly, stroking my face. I sighed and closed my eyes.

"Again?" I asked.

"Yes Eli. Are you sure you don't want me to make an appointment with Dr. Sandra?" She asked. I opened my eyes.

"Please make one." I said. She nodded.

"Okay." She promised.

I rolled over to look at the clock. It was eight o'clock in the morning on Saturday, September 18th. I sighed in frustration and got up. I walked over to Clare's side of the bed and stroked her now calm face.

"You're so beautiful, Clare. I love you so much." I whispered against her lips. She smiled and I kissed her deeply. Then I stood up and went into the bathroom to shower. I tried not to think about what today was and what I would have to do.

* * *

"Eli! Pancakes!" Clare called up the stairs. I came down and walked into the kitchen to see my family waiting for me. My son, Ren, was sitting at the counter, staring down into a cup of half drunken coffee. Ren's dark black hair was tussled, and he looked extremely hung over. I smirked at Clare who gave me a knowing look. I came up behind him and slapped him on the back, yelling in his ear,

"Morning, son! How'd you sleep?" I asked. He jumped in surprise and turned to glare at me with Julia's bright blue eyes.

"Not cool, Dad." He muttered. I laughed.

"Dude, where did you go last night and who were you with?" I asked.

"The library. I was alone." He muttered, laying his head down on the counter and covering his ears with his hands.

"C'mon Ren, you're not fooling anyone. We know you're hungover, we know you went drinking last night, and we know you were with a girl." I said, pouring myself a cup of coffee. My daughter Kristi laughed.

"You should've seen him. He came home and he tripped over the shoes by the back door. I found him lying on the floor, sleeping this morning.

"Alright, we get it. I'm an idiot." Ren said, taking a long sip of coffee.

"You're not an idiot. You have no common sense, but you're not brainless." Clare assured him.

"Yeah. Besides, you're going to Stanford. We know you won't have time for drinking." I said, sitting down with my children at the kitchen table. I examined my children.

Kristina, Kristi for short, was scribbling in a sketch pad. Her blond hair fell around her face in soft waves. She had a pretty face and bright green eyes. She's 15.

Mercy, who's 14, has short black hair and green eyes like me. She has a small frame, not curvy like her sister, and is always playing the piano and singing.

Bret, my son, is 12. He has dirty blond hair like Clare and her blue eyes. He is a sports star, like his older brother, and loves soccer and basketball. He's on a traveling basketball team and Clare takes him to all of the games.

Alec is six. He also had Clare's dirty blond hair and blue eyes. He's kind and playful. He loves animals and is always playing with our yellow lab, Molly.

Finally, there's Will. He's two years old and had dark black hair and green eyes. He's all me, and looks just like I did when I was a baby.

"So what's going on today, guys?" I asked as I took a sip of my coffee.

"I have a game after lunch." Bret informed me, smiling. I nodded in approval.

"Mom will drive you. What about you, Merc?" I asked.

"I have a band rehursal. I'm playing the keyboard." She announced, smiling with pride. She was now in an all boys band with Adam's son Kyle and Drew's son Nile.

"That sounds cool, can I come?" Kristi asked.

"We all know you only want to come so you can suck face with Nile." Mercy told her sister. Kristi scowled.

"I do not. I'm interested in rock music."

"I've never heard you listen to rock." Mercy laughed. Kristi rolled her eyes.

"Fine. I guess you won't have a ride home then." She said.

"Kris, you can't drive." Bret reminded her. She laughed.

"Oh please. I meant I'm not giving her a ride with my friends to school on Monday." Kristi said. I watched my children with a smirk plastered across my face. They were so cute when they fought.

"Save it, Kristi. You can come, but i=you still won't get me a ride on Monday." Mercy said. I nodded in agreement.

"She's right Kris. If I know you, you won't let her ride with you."

"Shut up dad!" She said, laughing. I rolled my eyes.

"I'm going to Kelsey's house." Ren informed us. I laughed at him.

"No your not." I said. He frowned at me.

"C'mon dad! Bianca will be there to watch us!"

"That's what worried me. Bianca had a kid in high school and the father ditched her."

"Who was the father?" Ren asked, knitting his eyebrows together. Clare glanced at me.

"Mark Fitzgerald." I told my son. "He's in jail now. Anyway, you can't go over there without supervision. And you're spending the day with me anyway."

"What! Why?" he asked, now annoyed.

"By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest." I said, quoting Confucius. He gave me a confused look.

"What does that even mean?" he whined. "Mom! Dad's throwing annoying metaphors at me!"

"Eli, please. The boy is already confused enough." Clare warned me. I laughed and gave her a kiss as she placed the dished on the table.

"I don't understand why I can't go to Kelsey's house! Who cares if her mom had her in high school? You guys had me in high school!" Clare and I both froze and glanced at each other. Now would be a good time to tell you that Ren doesn't know he's not Clare's son. He doesn't know Julia even exists.

"Ren…now isn't the time." I warned. He sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Whatever." He muttered.

Our family ate breakfast together, talking and laughing, but I felt alone. I cleared my plate and went upstairs into my office and locked the door.

* * *

I slumped down in my chair in front of my roll top desk and opened it up. I woke my laptop and opened the photos folder, typing in the password and hitting enter a little too hard. The folder opened and I scanned all the pictures. Clicking on one, it lit up the whole screen. There was Julia, smiling and laughing. She was sitting in my lap and in her lap was a tiny baby Ren. I examined her happy face, her beautiful smile, her bright happy eyes…and then the tears came.

Today would be the anniversary of her death. Today was seventeen years. Today was the day I would tell Ren that Clare wasn't his biological mother, even though she loved him like a son. She treated him right. She'd raised him and he loved her like a mom. Because she was his mom. Julia may be his mother, but Clare is his mom and nothing will ever change that.

I opened up a small draw that I'd covered with a pile of books and pulled out a small red box about the size of a pack of cigarettes.

I held it in the palm of my hand and turned it over, examining it. It was smooth and red, with tiny blue and black gemstones forming different floral designs. I ran my finger over the small box and gave it a small shake. Inside was a small portion of Julia's ashes. I'd chosen to spread them at the beach, somewhere she loved. But before the service, I'd taken a small scoop of them and placed them in the red box. Don't think I wanted to keep Julia in my house, that'd be crazy. No, I wanted to spread them myself when I was truly ready to let her go. And now, 17 years later, I finally felt ready.

* * *

"So why are you making me come to lunch with you?" Ren asked me bitterly. I bit into my tuna melt as we sat in the crowded Dot. I chewed slowly, examining my son. He wore his Degrassi football jersey and over it he wore his Degrassi varsity jacket. His style was the opposite of mine in high school.

"I wanted to talk to you about your mother." I said.

"Is mom okay? She's not pregnant again, is she?" Ren asked, suddenly full attention on me. He loved Clare so much…I couldn't do this…but I really had to.

"Yes, Clare is fine." I said, trying to keep my cool. I was worried that I'd suddenly have a bipolar attack and freak out. I had to stay strong for my son's sake.

"Dad…you're freaking me out." he said. I looked him in the face and sighed heavily.

"Ren…I don't know how to say this." I said.

"Say it in French." He joked. I rolled my eyes at his obscure idea and started tapping my foot in anxiety.

"Ren…Clare isn't your birth mother." I said, not making eye contact for a while. After what seemed like an eternity of him not saying anything, I glanced at him. His eyes were pointed at my stomach but I could tell he wasn't staring at it. He was staring at something far off, in his mind. His mouth hung slightly open. His eyes were dull, like he'd just been told he had six weeks to live.

"Ren?" I asked.

"So I'm adopted?" he asked, suddenly making eye contact again.

"Not exactly…you're my son. I had you when I was sixteen with your birth mother…Julia." I said. He stared at me like I'd just slapped him.

"Isn't Julia that girl you always wake up crying about?" he asked.

"Yes…Ren, she was hit by a car. She died when we were sixteen…she loved you very much." I said, trying to sofen the blow and sudden shock. However, I'm not good at being sensitive like Clare is, and could tell I wasn't much help in the situation.

"You never told me?" he whispered. "You let me live my whole life as a lie?"

"Ren, I wanted to tell you. But I met Clare a year after Julia died and we fell in love. She fell in love with you the moment she saw you and tiny one-year-old you loved her. You'd cry for her when she wasn't around…you said her name before mine. You were attached to her. And when Clare and I got married at 18, we decided to just tell you she was your mother. You loved her like a mother…I wanted to tell you on the seventeenth anniversary of Julia's death…I wanted to tell you once you were older. I didn't want you to grow up thinking you didn't have a real mommy." I said. He scoffed, tears now rolling down his cheeks.

"So you thought letting me grow up lying was a better solution?" he asked, anger spilling into his hurt tone. I closed my eyes.

"Ren, it's not like that. You're loved by your whole family!" I said.

"But they're not my real family. They're half siblings and a step mom. You and this Julia person are my only real family!" he said. It didn't take rocket science to figure out he was beyond angry at me.

"Ren…please stop." I said.

"No, Dad, you've been lying all along!" he yelled.

"Ask Clare! Ask Adam! They'll tell you all about Julia and how much I wanted to raise you with her!" I yelled, now just as angry.

"Oh, are they lying too?" he asked.

"Ren, I'm you're father, don't speak to me like that."

"Oh are you? Or did Julia cheat? Maybe I'm not even your son! How awesome would that be? I can go have another dad who hasn't been lying to me for 17 years and you can get rid of me! Everyone wins!" he shouted.

"Ren, stop! Let's talk about this. I know you're angry-" I started, but he cut me off.

"Angry?" ANGRY? I'M NOT FUCKING ANGRY DAD, I'M FUCKING FURIOUS! YOU'VE NEVER EVER TOLD ME THE TRUTH, HAVE YOU?" He yelled. I flinched at the anger in my son's voice.

"Ren, stop! We'll work this out!"

"Fuck off, Eli! If that even is your real name!" he yelled, getting up and walking out of the Dot.

I slumped back into my chair and rubbed my temples. That could've gone better.

"Fuck, Julia." I whispered, pretending she could hear me. I sighed in anger, tears rolling down my face. I paid the bill and went to my car without saying a word.

* * *

Getting out of my car outside my parent's house, I walked down the street. I shoved my cold hands in the pockets of my jeans in a desperate attempt to keep warm.

"Oh Jules," I whispered, sitting down on the curb across from the place where she'd been hit by the car. I could imagine Julia and I lying there, me clutching her, blood spilling onto the pavement.

"It should've been me." I whispered. "Julia, you never deserved this." I pulled the small box that contained the remainder of her ashes out of my coat pocket.

"Julia…if you can hear me…I told Ren today. I told him about you, I mean. He didn't take it well, obviously." I said, shivering in the night's frosty air. I shook the box and opened it, examining the contence.

"I've missed you for seventeen years," I muttered. "I've loved you for twenty seven years. I've wanted you to be by my side every day of those seventeen years…I want you to forgive me, Jules. If I hadn't yelled…if I had just taken you inside and made you some cocoa and warmed you up…you'd still be here." I said, tears rolling down my face. A large gust of wind blew and I knew it was time. I threw the box's contents into the strong wind and watched them fly away, twirling and swirling with the snow. I hugged my knees and looked up at the sky. A lone star shone and I remembered something from my childhood. I took a deep breath and made a wish. "I wish you were still here, Julia. I wish you never died and I could still hold you in my arms." I whispered. Then, feeling foolish, I got up and walked to my car. I couldn't go home tonight, I'd be forced to talk to Clare about my day. As much as I loved my wife, I couldn't bare to talk about the sad, depressing thoughts that floated through my mind like phantoms in the night. I sighed and leaned against the steering wheel, closing my eyes. I'd sleep here tonight, then go home and face Ren tomorrow. I felt as though I'd let my son down, when all I wanted to ever do was protect him. This was the last thing I remember thinking before I fell into a deep sleep I somehow couldn't prevent.

"Eli…" Someone murmured, poking me. I snuggled up under the covers of me and Clare's bed, shutting my eyes tight. I didn't want to get up, it was too comfortable in the bed.

"Eli, baby, wake up." A familiar voice said. I didn't move. Then familiar lips connected with mine, kissing me deeply. I opened my eyes, expecting to find Clare greeting me with a smile and a "I told you so". She'd always told me I should never had lied to Ren.

But when I opened my eyes, I found that the lips on mine didn't belong to my loving wife. No, they belonged to someone very different.

"Julia?" I whispered in shock.

What was she doing in my bedroom? What was she doing kissing me? Why wasn't she dead? Where was Clare, the love of my life? What had I done?

* * *

**Comments? Please tell me what you think...it's not too weird, is it? It gets better in ch.2. Give it a chance! Thanks :) **


	2. Chapter 2

**Oh my god, wow. I am ashamed of myself! I'm such a procrastinator! I've been trying to work on this story to get it just right, but I failed at updating. I promise that I will update every thursday from now on! You have my word. Please, please review to let me know you're still reading. Once again, I feel horrible. I've had state testing and a bunch of trips and spring break and stupid things like that. I promise, every single thursday, maybe even more often! Please review! ANd once again, I'm really sorry...hope this makes up for my stupid lack of updates.\**

**I don't own degrassi...**

* * *

**Chapter 2**

"_Yes, the past can hurt but the way I see it you can either run from it or learn from it." –Anonymous_

"_Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future." –Anonymous_

"_When the gods wish to punish us, they answer our prayers." –Oscar Wilde_

* * *

"Julia?" I asked, my body frozen in shock. My late ex-girlfriend smiled at me, her eyes bright.

_I must be dreaming._ I thought. There was no other logical explanation.

"Morning Eli," She said, wrapping her arms around my bare chest. "How'd you sleep?"

"Uh…" I started, standing up. "G-Good. I'll be in the bathroom." I said hastily, trying not to stutter as I backed up toward the bathroom. Julia still laid in bed. She was laying in me and Clare's bed…she was laying right where Clare had always laid.

The room was the same but still very different. The walls were dark gray, not light blue like Clare had painted them. The big, bright windows were concealed behind thick purple curtains. The bedspread was black and grey and all the furniture was dark. I noticed how sinister the room was and wondered if I'd always been like that as a teenager.

"Don't be long, I have to shower too." Julia said, reaching for a cell phone that was positioned vigilantly on the black side table.

"Okay," I promised, racing into the bathroom and closing the door quickly. I leaned against it and examined the washroom. Like the bedroom, everything was the same as me and Clare's house was, but the energy was gloomy and the decor was dark. I turned on the sink and splashed cold water on my face, looking up into the mirror to study myself. I was still 33, but my hair was longer like it had been in high school. I looked down and saw I was wearing black sweatpants and socks, and my guitar pick necklace. I sighed at the thought of dark clothing. I turned my attention to my left ring finger, looking at the black wedding band in place of where the gold one Clare had given me should've been.

"Hey Eli," Someone said casually, startling me. I whipped around quickly and looked for the perpetrator of the unfamiliar voice.

What I didn't expect to see was a seventeen year old boy sitting on the edge of the bathtub, casually looking up at me. His dirty blond hair flopped around his face and his lanky frame told me his identity and where I knew him from: he was J.T York, the kid who'd been murdered and had once gone to Degrassi.

"What the hell?" I asked, clearly confused and frustrated. My head was racing and I wondered if I was high. Or drunk. Or possibly both.

"I'm J.T York. I'm here to help." The young man introduced himself, standing and smiling. I tied to shake his hand, but mine went right through his as if he was a hologram. I was fascinated by the fact that I couldn't touch him and stuck my whole arm through his chest.

"That's not funny." He said, eyeing me. I pulled my hand away.

"What the heck is this?" I asked, suddenly scared for my sanity.

"Eli, you made a wish that Julia had never died. You wished on the North Star, and the big guy was feeling sorry for you. Bada-bing, bada-boom, you're 33 years old and Julia never died!" J.T said, smiling. I stared at him.

"You're joking." I told him.

"Wish I was." He replied, shrugging. "Look. The big guy sent me to guide you through this. I have some love experience myself, and, well, I thought I could help."

"I'm dreaming." I decided, looking around. He laughed at me.

"You're in real life." He said. "Pinch yourself." He told me. I pinched my arm as hard as I could and let out a small yelp. He laughed at me when I didn't wake up.

"So Julia never died?" I asked, still astonished.

"Yup." He said. Another realization suddenly hit me.

"Where is Clare?" I asked. She'd suddenly become my priority.

"Wish I could tell you. This is your life as if Julia never died. So, everything changes. You never went to Degrassi."

"I never met Clare?" I whispered, a wave of depression hitting me suddenly.

"That would be correct." J.T replied.

"Where are my children?" I asked, turning toward J.T once again.

"You'll see." He said. Then there was a knock at the door and J.T disappeared.

"Eli, c'mon and hurry up or you'll be late for work!" Julia called through the door. I sighed and looked around.

"J.T? Where'd you go?" I asked, starting the water in the shower.

"I'm here." J.T replied, reappearing and sitting on top of the laundry basket. I turned to him.

"I need to get back to Clare." I decided. He broke into a fit of laughter.

"That's comical." He said.

"I can't get back to Clare?" I asked.

"Eli, the big guy did this because he wishes you to learn a lesson." J.T told me.

"Tell the big guy that I don't give a fuck about him or his lessons!" I yelled.

"Once you learn your lesson, you'll be sent back to Clare." He told me. I just stood there in immense shock.

"And what lesson would that be?" I asked, annoyed.

"I can't tell you." he said.

"Are you freaking serious?" I asked.

"Eli babe are you okay?" Julia called. I groaned in frustration.

"Yeah, I'll be out in a minute." I returned, now glaring at J.T.

"Look Eli, you've got this. Here," he said, touching my guitar pick necklace. "Whenever you need me, rub this. I'll come."

"Like a stalker." I muttered. He rolled his eyes and disappeared once again, leaving me alone. And that's how I wanted it to be.

I walked out of the bathroom and went into my closet, ignoring the nausea that I'd conducted. I felt sick to my stomach every time I thought about where I was and what I was doing.

* * *

I stepped into my closet and examined my options. Not knowing where I was going or what I worked as in this alternate universe, I rubbed my necklace. J.T appeared, standing next to me.

"Hey Eli."

"What's my job?" I asked quickly.

"You're a bartender." He said. I stared at him.

"A bar tender? A bartender! In the real worl I'm the president of a publishing company!" I yelled. he laughed.

"You and Julia own a club downtown. It's really nice." He said. I stared at him, wide-eyed.

"You've got to be kidding me." I said.

"I'll come see you at work. I could use a beer, this job is tough." He said before he disappeared. I groaned and looked around my closet at my clothing options. I saw different shades of skinny jeans and graphic t-shirts. I decided on a white Dead Hand v-neck and black skinny jeans with my combat boots (I know, original.)

"Eli, you look great." Julia said, walking into the room. I sighed, and smiled. It was good to see her. She was wearing a short, red dress and fishnets with combat boots and chain necklaces. It reminded me of our sophomore dance and what she'd worn.

"You look amazing Jules." I said. She slipped into her leather jacket.

"Thanks baby. The kids are downstairs." She said.

"The kids?" I asked.

"Uh, our children? How much did you have to drink last night?" she asked, smoothing my shirt against my chest. I sighed.

"I don't know." I muttered. She giggled and pecked my lips.

"I'll be down in a moment." She told me.

I nodded and walked out of "our" room and into the hallway. Closing the door behind me, I leaned against it and closed my eyes. I took a deep breath to clear my racing mind.

Julia was alive. I suddenly felt like I was cheating on Clare and a wave of nausea swept over me.

In deciding I was hungry, I walked down the steps that had once been so familiar. I had once walked these steps with my children, watching them grow and change. I had once felt a wave of happiness every time I walked down these. Now I felt fear and anxiety. What had become of my family? What had become of my life?

I rounded the corner and walked through the hallway only to find more dark décor.

In drifting into the kitchen, I felt a wave of shock hit me like a pile of bricks.

"Hey Dad," Bret greeted me as he walked past me. I stared, wide-eyed after him. He was wearing all black. He looked like a 12 year old me.

"B-Bret," I stuttered. "What happened?"

"Uh…are you okay?" Kristi asked me. I looked over at my daughter to find that she was dressed in punk clothes like she normally was. For a moment, I was hopeful that she hadn't changed. "You're acting like a fucking freak." She told me. Yup, she's definitely changed.

"Don't talk to me like that!" I scolded. She laughed.

"good luck with the whole parenting thing." She told me. Instead of getting mad at her, I looked for Ren. Maybe he was better off knowing about his real mother. What I saw was that he was sitting at his normal place at the counter with no shirt on. Rebellious tattoos covered his muscular chest and the tips of his hair were dyed red. He had one-inch gages in his ears, as well as many other peircings. Kelsey was sitting next to him wearing a pair of his boxers and a bright pink bra. They were both drinking beer. Something told me he was better off with Clare.

"Ren?" I asked. He gave me a bored look.

"What Eli?"

"You tattooed your chest?" I asked, now extremely outraged. He laughed.

"Mom took me two years ago." He told me. "Are you drunk or something?"

"I think he's high." Bret said. Mercy laughed.

"Or both." She added.

"Where's Kristi?" I asked. they all laughed again.

"Probably somewhere in Montréal." Ren said.

"Why? She's fifteen!" I asked, pouring myself a cup of coffee. I looked around the messy kitchen and poured the coffee back down the drain; I was not eating anything out of this house.

"You and mom let her and Nile go there." Mercy said. "Any other obvious questions you wanna ask?" she asked me. I glared at her.

"Shut up," I told her. She shrugged and went back to her cereal.

"Why is Kelsey here?" I asked.

"Uh, you and mom let her sleep over." Ren told me.

"What?" I asked.

"Eli, what's wrong with you today?" Julia asked, coming down the stairs. I shook my head, truly speechless. I was married to her. Holy shit, I'm so screwed.

"Where are the others?" I asked, meaning Alec and Will.

"What others?" Julia asked me.

"Alec and Will." I said.

"Who?" Julia asked. I shook my head.

"Forget it." I told her.

So we hadn't had Alec or Will. That's horrible! I want my sons!

"So Bret, do you have a game this week?" I asked. He gave me a blank look.

"Uh…I don't do sports." He said dumbly.

"What?" I asked. Did I hear him right? Bret lives for sports. How could he not do sports?

"I have never played sports." He told me. I groaned and shook my head.

"I'm leaving." I announced. "See you later Jules." I said, kissing her on the cheek. She pulled me in for a kiss on the lips. Her lips tastes like candy and I suddenly remembered why I used to like her so much. She wrapped one leg around my hip and I lifted her onto the counter. I suddenly remembered that I was married to Clare and that my children were in the room. I pulled away from Julia and she wrapped her arms around my neck.

"Sorry guys." I muttered. However, they looked unfazed by me and Julia's little scene.

"We're kinda used to it." Mercy muttered. I looked from my children to Julia. She pulled me into her arms and whispered something in my ear while she nibbled on my ear lobe.

"I'll see you later," she whispered. "In the break room at the club. I'll bring the condoms."

I gave her one more quick kiss and then lifted her off the counter, placing her on the floor.

"Bye guys," I said, taking my keys off the hook on the wall. They all smiled at me and I rushed out the door and to my car.

I climbed into my hearse and sped down the street, rubbing my necklace as so0n as the house was out of sight.

"Hey Eli," J.T said, appearing in my front passenger seat.

"The fuck was that?" I asked.

"The fuck was what? Julia asking you to have sex or your life now?"

"Everything!" I said.

"Dude, chill out. Turn left here," he said, instructing me how to get to my club. "Just tell her you're busy with customers. Lock yourself in your office. Clean the bar. Beat your servants." He said. I gave him a look. "The last one was a joke." He informed me. I continued to drive past the Dot.

"I don't want to own a club, I want to go back to my life with Clare!" I wined even though I knew it wasn't helping anything.

"Eli, be a man." J.T told me.

"Says the hologram." I muttered.

"Don't go there," He threatened. "Turn right. The club is that brick building right there." He said. I parked on the street.

"So what is this stupid lesson I'm supposed to learn?" I asked J.T before I got out of the car.

"You'll figure it out," he assured. "Have fun at work!" he told me, disappearing. I got out of the car and slammed the door a little too hard.

This part of Downtown is nice and has lots of potential to be a great spot for business. Lots of rich, young people come here to party and dance. I knew this from my experiences with Fiona in high school.

I walked up to the big, metal doors and was ready to unlock them, when something caught my eye. It was a copy of a vampire novel, beaten up and worn, extremely familiar. It was sitting on a small part of a dirty blanket that peaked out from behind a large post. I walked toward it and was about to pick it up, when someone jumped out at me.

She'd been hiding in a nook in the building. On the ground was a duffle bag and a pile of a blanket, two books and several pieces of clothing.

She was holding a knife, pointing it at my chest. The blade was dirty, but sharp as fuck. The girl pointing it at me was wearing dirty jeans, a pair of beaten up converse and a Degrassi sweatshirt. Her hands were rough from working hard. Her face was young and familiar. Her blue eyes were fierce.

My heart stopped. My mind raced. My hands shook. My words were stuck in my throat. My tongue was tied.

Only one thing came to mind.

I'd just come face to face with a homeless Clare Edwards.

"So that's where she went,"

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**A/N: So how did I do? Was it ok? I'll bring Clare in the next chapters! Also, there will be appearences from: Adam, Drew, Bianca, Jake, Zig, Maya, Tori...possibly Ally? I'm not totally sure yet, but most of them are coming in. Please review and tell me who you want to see in the story. I PROMISE, from not on, I'll update every Thursday. PROMISE! Thanks for being patient!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Uhhhhh! I'm so frustrated! I'm really sorry guys, I'm a liar. I promised that I'd post on thursdays and it's been a week! UGGGG! Well, I have an allaby. My aunt died, so things have been kinda crazy around my house, so I haven't had much time...sorry :( I know this chapter is a bit lame, but it explaines everything! Thanks for staying with me through this. :) Love you! I almost feel bad asking for reviews...but if you don't mind...it's appreciated. :) **

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_"It's like catching lightning, the chances of finding someone like you." -unknown_

_"The best thing in life is finding someone who knows all your flaws, mistakes and weaknesses and still thinks you're completely amazing." -unknown_

_"If the only place I cansee that truly loved special someone is in my dreams then I want to sleep forever." -Danny Santagato _

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I'd just come face to face with a homeless Clare Edwards.

"So that's where she went," I whispered.

"Give me your wallet!" She said. I help my hands up in surrender. My brain was putty; I couldn't think. My tongue was tied, I couldn't speak. Everything I'd ever known suddenly came crashing down for the second time that morning.

The knife's blade sparkled in the sunlight. I had a sudden flashback to Vegas Night. Fitz's knife pointed at me. The smile he wore. The evil look in his eyes. The sound of the blade pounding into the wall behind me. The flood of relief and shock I felt, sinking down and hugging my knees when the cops appeared.

I stared into Clare's eyes. _My wife is mugging me_. The thought was so startling that I almost fell over. Looking into Clare's eyes, it occurred to me that she was ready to stab me if I didn't give her my wallet.

"Clare, it's me! It's Eli!" I yelled in surrender, holding my hands up. She threw me up against the wall and held the blade to my throat.

"What?" she growled. "Who are you and how do you know my name?" she demanded.

"Uh…I went to Degrassi. I worked with you on the newspaper." I rambled out a lie that seemed to suit the situation and seem believable. There were hundreds of kids at Degrassi and over 50 of them had worked on the newspaper.

"Really? How do I know you're not lying?" she demanded. The knife that she was holding to my throat was shaking and I was gulping for air.

"I know your favorite color is pink!" I said.

"Lucky guess," she growled.

"I know that your parents got divorced when you were 16!" I said. For a second, her eyes changed from fierce and angry to soft.

"What?" she asked.

"I know that you love vampire novels and that you're a great writer! You have an older sister named Darcy Edwards and a step brother named Jake Martin!" I said desperately. Her attitude suddenly cooled, however she still held the knife to my throat.

"What was your name?" she asked.

"Eli. Eli Goldsworthy." I answered.

"I don't remember you," she started, narrowing her eyes. That hurt.

"Nobody does. I was a loner…always blending into the background. I didn't fit in."

"Well that makes two of us," she said. She was about to say something else when I heard crying. "Shit," she mumbled.

She walked away from me, taking her knife with her, and disappeared into the nook she'd jumped out of. I walked down the sidewalk to find that she'd been hiding out in a nook in the brick wall. On the ground was the dirty blanket I saw earlier and along with the vampire novel. What else I saw shocked me.

Laying under the blankets were Alec and Will, my sons. I let out a small gasp and she eyed me. I ignored the daggers she shot at me as she scooped Will into her arms and bounced him on her hip, calming him down.

"I'm Clare Martin by the way," she said. I blinked.

"Come again?" I asked.

"Clare Martin," she repeated. I think I felt my chest fill with cement.

"Uh…you're married?" I guessed. She narrowed her eyes at me.

"What's it to you?" she asked.

"We used to be friends Clare. Katie had us work on a lot of articles together," I said, trying to use the few details I remembered from High School.

"Really?"

"Yes really. Are…are you homeless?" I asked.

"If you must know, we usually live in Jake's car. But, right now, he's working. So we've been here for two days." She said bitterly.

"Clare, do you want to come inside?" I asked, gesturing to the club. "Clean up…have a bite to eat? On the house?" I questioned. She hesitated before Alec starting whining.

"I'm hungry," he moaned.

"Fine." She said. I nodded.

"Good," I replied. She collected our children and her belongings and followed me into the club.

When I walked in, honestly, I was shocked. The club was huge and modern, with a large dance floor, DJ and flashing lights. All of the equipment, obviously, was turned off, but the place was still cool even with no music or lighting. I walked over to the bar and looked around, unsure of what to do.

She put her stuff down in a booth and came to sit at the bar, helping Alec up onto a stool, then sat down holding Will.

"So…" I started. Then, my savior came. No, I'm not talking about J.T York.

"Eli? You here?" a familiar voice called. I turned to see my cousin, Zig Novak, walking into the club, then locking the door.

"Zig!" I called. At least one person was the same in my life. My 29 year old cousin smiled and came up next to me behind the bar.

"I'm here to work," he said. "Should I start washing glasses?"

"No, I promised I'd get these guys some food." I said. Zig stared blankly at Clare.

"Uh…the girl who sleeps outside is here?" he asked. I nodded.

"Yes, Zig, this is Clare. Clare, my cousin Zig." I introduced the two.

"Hey," Zig said coolly. "Why?" he asked, turning to me a second later.

"Clare is my friend from High School." I said. He stared blankly at me.

"Ok…"

"Look Zig, just get her something to eat." I said, now annoyed.

"That's not my job. I just make drinks. Go ask the chef," he said, pointing at the kitchen doors.

"And whose the cheff?" I asked sarcastically without thinking.

"Uh…Maya's the chef. Are you okay? You're acting weird." He said. Clare watched us.

"I'm fine, just tired." I lied.

"I'm here!" Someone called, coming into the club.

"Maya?" I asked. It took me a moment to place the blue-eyed-blonde that stood in front of me. "You're Zig's high school girlfriend!" I said. Zig walked over to her and put his arm around her.

"Eli, we've been married for four years…" he started. Maya was confused.

"Is he hung-over?" she asked.

"I'm FINE. I just need someone to get Clare and Will and Alec some food!" I said. Maya rushed into the kitchen and Zig followed. I sighed and leaned against the bar.

"How did you know my kid's names?" she asked.

"You told me them," I said. She blinked at me.

"Ok…" she started. I sighed and closed my eyes, trying to get the aching in my head to go away.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"Honestly? No." I said. She put her hand on my arm.

"Can I do anything to help?" she asked. A thought donned on me.

"Zig!" I yelled. No one came. "I'll be back," I said, walking into the kitchen.

I found Zig and Maya making out in front of a huge stove.

"Zig! Maya!" I said. They broke apart after one quick kiss.

"Sorry, I'm waiting for the stove to heat up," Maya explained, turning back to her work.

"Do we need any extra help around the club?" I asked. Zig stared at me. He was doing that a lot this morning.

"We've been looking for another waitress for months," he replied.

"Oh yeah!" I said, rushing back outside.

"He's loosing it…" I heard Zig mutter. However, I didn't care.

"Clare!" I said, coming back out.

"Yes?"

"Would you like a job as a waitress here?" I asked her.

"Uh…what?" she asked, narrowing her eyes.

"I'm offering you a job!" I said.

"I accept." She said simply.

"That was fast." I replied.

"I'm desperate to find work. Work and a place to live." She told me.

"You can start tonight," I offered. She smiled.

"Thanks Eli,"

"No problem," I replied. For a second she stared into my eyes. Something passed between us. But Maya broke that when she came out with a tray of steaming food.

"Cheeseburgers okay?" she asked. Clare nodded and helped the boys eat.

"Thank you…for everything." She said. I smiled.

"No problem, Clare." I said again.

Well, it was already eight in the morning and I'd found Clare. Well, sorta.

"So…Jake…" I started.

"Yeah. Jake and I moved out of our parents' house right after graduation. We've been on the street for a while…" she started. I could tell that talking about her living situation made her uncomfortable.

"If you need a place to stay," I started.

"N0, Eli, I've already taken enough from you." she said.

"What's mine is yours," I said without thinking. I'd told Clare that same exact thing the day we bought our house. She'd felt bad about taking my money, and I explained to her that we shared everything now. We were married.

That no longer applied.

"What?" she asked.

"Uh…employee policy." I said quickly. "Yeah. If an employee is ever in trouble, we help them…" I said. She seemed to believe this and shrugged.

"I'm here!" someone called.

It was Julia.

Clare stared at Julia. Julia stared at Clare.

"Well this is awkward," I heard J.T's voice echoing in my head. And he was totally right.

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**A/N: Well, this coming week we have six days off, so I'll be sure to post! Maybe even two chapters! We'll see... :)**


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